Archive for the ‘Holiday Grieving’ Category

One of the many hurdles grieving people have to contend with is that of the holiday season. For many, during November they would just as soon spin the calendar forward to January and do the express lane of holiday grief. It seems as though unless you barricade yourself in a basement for two months, there is no escaping all of the good cheer that abounds.
Holidays like most other aspects of life have changed for always. As a person going through grief, just the thought of enjoying themselves at a holiday gathering is the farthest thing from their life. Guilt, shame, blame, loss, pain, anxiety fear—these all replace the fun, joy, excitement expectations, happiness which holidays generally bring.
Planning ahead before holidays arrive seem to be the best defense against feeling the effects of getting overwhelmed. Making a plan to remember, to feel and to include the memory of your loved one during family gatherings is most paramount to create a new way of “holidaying.”
Yes—family and friend functions are forever changed yet somehow we manage to create new memories and different traditions while possibly restoring some old.
One of the main focus grievers have found in coming back from grief’s edge is to always remember the loved one who has passed. Speak of their name and the memories made while they were here. Embrace the history made so as to keep bringing them along in life.
The main ingredient in going through grief is to become very expressive and respectful of your feelings. Learning how to manage them, embrace them however do not attempt to control or repress them will help tremendously during the holiday season. Glad sad, happy or blue, whatever you feel will always be honoring you.